I Want to Get Divorced, But I Am Afraid of Hurting My Kids
Fathers of young children who are unhappily married often stay together for many years longer than they would otherwise because they are afraid of hurting their children. Fears that the child may grow up to have depression and anxiety, to suffer at school, or, worse, to get involved in drugs and alcohol or struggle with juvenile delinquency are all legitimate; research shows that children of divorced parents are at heightened risk of these behaviors.
However, research also shows that fathers can mitigate the negative impacts of divorce by carefully managing the divorce in a way that protects the kids from its most damaging elements. This means that, when done right, you can get out of an unhappy marriage and protect your kids’ best interests.
Parents Have a Lower Impact on Children’s Future Personalities than Previously Thought
While there is no question that parental behavior can shape a child’s attitude and general happiness level at any given moment, research also shows that children’s fundamental personalities seem to be dictated more by genetics than by environment. Adopted children are more like their biological parents than their adoptive parents, and identical twins raised separately are more alike than not.
However, there are some important exceptions to note. One recent study suggests that daughters of divorced parents whose fathers do not actively play a role in their lives are more likely to engage in sexually risky behavior, leading to higher rates of teen pregnancy and STD acquisition. Likewise, boys of absent fathers are more likely to engage in risky behaviors and to get involved in criminal behavior at a young age.
Fortunately, even when parents are divorced, a father who is highly invested in his children’s lives can prevent his children from falling into behaviors associated with absent fathers. Fathers can stay involved in children’s lives in many ways, both during and after divorce, including:
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Maintaining a warm personal relationship
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Talking frequently and showing interest in the child’s life
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Attending important events with the child
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Establishing clear boundaries and behavioral expectations
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Insisting the child succeeds academically
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Not badmouthing the child’s other parent
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Being receptive to the child’s frustrations about the divorce
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Not exposing the child to a revolving door of new romantic partners
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Offering the child stability and predictability
Most of these suggestions are fairly obvious when parenting from the perspective of the child’s best interests. If you are already worried about your child’s well-being before even getting divorced, chances are you are the kind of parent who will continue to nurture your child’s best interests even when you get divorced.
Contact a Father’s Rights Lawyer Near You Today
Concerns about your rights as a father are natural during and after divorce, and you deserve hard-hitting representation from an attorney who will make sure your rights are protected. To learn more from a local father’s rights attorney near you, contact one of our skilled lawyers today.
Source:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pop-psych/201706/divorced-dads-and-their-daughters
