Getting a divorce is rarely an easy process, especially for dads who need to address child custody issues. However, infidelity can make matters even more complicated, and it can lead to disputes that may be difficult to resolve. When one spouse has engaged in a sexual or emotional relationship with someone outside of the marriage, this is likely to be one of the top reasons why the marriage is ending. Infidelity can not only lead to significant emotional pain, feelings of betrayal, and contentious arguments, but it may also affect divorce proceedings. In these situations, it is important to understand the legal implications that infidelity may have for dads who are going through divorce.

When Infidelity May Be Addressed During the Divorce Process

Infidelity is an emotional issue that can be very important to spouses who are going through a divorce. However, it may not necessarily be addressed during legal divorce proceedings. Even though it can be difficult to set aside emotions when approaching this issue, doing so may be necessary to ensure that a divorce can be completed successfully. A spouse’s adultery or cheating behavior could potentially affect a divorce in the following ways:

• Grounds for divorce: When filing for divorce, a spouse will state the reasons they are seeking to end their marriage, which are known as the grounds for divorce. Some states recognize fault-based grounds for divorce, including adultery. However, most states also allow for “no-fault divorce” in which a divorce petition will state that the marriage is ending because of irreconcilable differences. To help minimize conflict during the divorce process, it may be preferable to file for a no-fault divorce rather than placing the blame for the end of the marriage on the spouse who cheated.

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Divorce is not easy, and husbands or fathers who go through this experience will often struggle to make changes in their lives and make sure they are making good financial choices. The emotional aspects of ending a marriage can make it difficult to properly consider the long-term impact of the choices made during the divorce process. However, it is important to approach this process correctly, and men can take steps to protect their financial interests and set themselves up for success in the next chapter of their lives. As you prepare for divorce, you will want to follow these tips for addressing financial issues:

Gather All Financial Documents

It is essential to compile all relevant financial information that may affect the decisions made during the divorce process. These documents may include bank statements, tax returns, investment account statements, mortgage documents, credit card bills, and any other records related to your assets and liabilities. Having this information readily available will help you understand your current financial situation so that you can make decisions about the division of marital property and other divorce-related issues.

Assess Your Assets and Liabilities

Evaluate all joint accounts, assets, investments, and any other property owned together with your spouse. You will also need to consider any separate property that you or your spouse own individually. By creating an inventory of your marital property and fully understanding the value of different assets, you can make sure assets and debts will be properly divided during settlement negotiations. An understanding of the value of non-marital property, which may include assets or debts acquired before you were married or gifts or inheritances received by either party, may also affect your financial resources going forward, and this may need to be factored into the decisions made during your divorce.

When it comes to divorce proceedings, there is often a misconception that only women are eligible to receive alimony or spousal support. However, this is not the case. In recent years, as gender roles continue to evolve and change in our society, more men have started seeking alimony after getting divorced.

Understanding Alimony

When addressing issues related to alimony, it is essential to first understand the purpose of this form of support. Financial support paid by one spouse to the other following a divorce or separation is meant to alleviate any economic disparities between spouses caused by the end of their marriage.

In most cases, alimony payments are made by the higher-earning spouse to the lower-earning spouse so that both parties can maintain similar standards of living post-divorce. This is meant to ensure fairness and provide the financially dependent spouse with enough time and support to become self-sufficient.

The divorce process can be difficult, and it can be especially hard on children. When parents split up, children’s lives can be upended. Children may experience stress and other emotional issues when they are exposed to tension and conflict in the home. As parents begin to separate from each other, children are likely to be unsure about what will happen in the future, where they will live, whether they will still be able to see family members, how their school activities and friendships will be affected, and how other parts of their lives will be affected. 

As a dad going through a divorce, you may feel overwhelmed by all the issues you need to address. However, even though you may be focusing on the legal and financial aspects of your divorce, it is also important to prioritize your children's well-being and provide them with the support they need. Here are some ways you can help your children get through the divorce process:

1. Talk to Your Children

One of the most crucial things you can do as a dad is to give your children the opportunity to discuss divorce-related issues with you. You can encourage them to express their feelings and concerns and listen attentively without judgment or criticism. Let them know that it is okay to feel sad or angry about the situation. While you should not discuss inappropriate details about your divorce, you can explain why your marriage is ending, and you can make sure they will be informed about the changes that will occur in their lives.

During a divorce, child support is one of the most critical issues that will need to be resolved. Ongoing support payments will help secure children’s well-being and financial stability after parents are no longer together. However, as circumstances can change over time, it may become necessary for dads to modify their child support obligations. By understanding what steps to take to request these modifications, fathers can protect their financial interests while ensuring their children’s needs will be met.

Filing a Child Support Modification Request

If a dad wants to modify his child support payments after getting divorced, he will typically need to file a request with the family court where the divorce was originally completed. The requirements that will need to be met can vary depending on state law, but in most cases, there must have been a significant change in circumstances since the initial determination of child support or since the last time child support orders were modified.

A significant change in circumstances may include:

There is no doubt that going through a divorce is a life-altering event that can have a significant impact on both men and women. While there are many resources that discuss the difficulties that women go through, there have historically been fewer resources for men. However, men will face many of the same emotional and financial concerns, and they may feel that they have less support from others. If you are going through a divorce, the following are some of the difficulties that you may be dealing with as you work to end your marriage and move forward into the next stage of your life:

Emotional Impact

Even if you are the spouse that wanted the divorce and filed a petition to dissolve your marriage, the end of a relationship that you once thought would be permanent can cause you to experience waves of intense emotions. It is not uncommon to deal with feelings of anger, betrayal, grief, and sadness. You may experience a sense of loss as you process the emotional challenges that come with ending your marriage. You may also need to deal with stress related to major changes in your life, and you may face trepidation as you consider an uncertain future.

Parenting Impact

If you have children, divorce will require you and your spouse to create a new parenting dynamic. Depending on the type of child custody and parenting plan you settle on, you will most likely be able to spend less time with your children than you did while you were married. Coming to terms with the changes in your life that affect your relationship with your children is not always easy.

 Single fathers face a unique set of challenges and concerns that can significantly impact their lives and their ability to raise their children effectively. As society evolves and traditional gender roles are redefined, more men are taking on the role of primary caregivers, either by choice or due to circumstances such as divorce, separation, or the death of a partner. The following are some of the concerns commonly faced by single fathers. If you have more specific concerns regarding fathers’ rights and parenting, contact Dad's Divorce.  

Emotional Support

Single fathers may experience feelings of isolation and loneliness. The lack of a partner to share the emotional burden and provide support can be overwhelming. It is essential for single dads to seek emotional support through friends, family, or support groups specifically designed for single parents.

Financial Responsibilities

Raising a child as a single parent often means shouldering financial responsibilities alone. Balancing work and parenting can be challenging, as single fathers may need to work long hours to provide for their children. Financial planning and seeking available resources such as government assistance or child support can help alleviate some of the financial burdens.

In recent years, the term “visitation” has largely been replaced with the term “parenting time.” This is due, in no small part, because the concept of visitation is almost always misleading and vaguely insulting to hard-working parents who are invested in their children’s well-being. Simply because a parent does not get to reside with their child as often as their co-parent might does not mean that their relationship with their child has been reduced to visitor status. Countless adults who cannot be with their children every day are stellar parents, both when they are face-to-face with their children and when they are not.

Yet, there is one beneficial area of the American co-parenting experience that has been labeled as a form of “visitation” in a way that is not degrading. Likely because the alliteration of the term makes it easy to remember, the concept of “virtual visitation” is proving to be beneficial for millions of families across the country.

What Is Virtual Visitation?

Virtual visitation is an umbrella term that broadly refers to any method of communication that a child can use to remain connected when they are not residing with one of their parents. Many parenting plans contain terms that set expectations for both parents to follow when their child is and is not residing with them. Common resources that are used to facilitate virtual visitation arrangements include:

If you are like many people who update friends and family through social media, you may want to reconsider that if you are going through a divorce. You are probably aware that what you say on the internet is seen by many people. What you post or write is automatically captured, and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can potentially use it against you during divorce. If you use social media during your divorce, here are some tips to help you protect yourself.

Digital Age Precautions

Social media can complicate a divorce in the blink of an eye. In this digital age, what we say and post will live forever online. Be careful not to give your spouse any ammunition. These are some tips in case you remain active on social media while divorce proceedings are underway:

• Take precautions and change your passwords on everything from email to social media accounts. This will ensure that you maintain your privacy during the divorce. The last thing you want is for your spouse to get the upper hand from any email communications or to post something inappropriate while pretending to be you.

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While most people are aware of the dangers that domestic violence poses to women across the United States, fewer people know how serious and common domestic abuse against men is as well. Men tend to talk less about their abusers, especially when the abuser is their wife, because it can feel emasculating. Worse, research shows that the people men should be able to rely on for help in abusive situations, such as police and social workers, tend to take domestic abuse against men less seriously than the same abuse against women. But no matter who the target is, intimate partner violence is a dangerous tragedy that poses serious risks both to the victim and to his children. If you are getting divorced, here are some good reasons to let a judge know if your wife is abusing you. 

Protect Your Child

Rarely do abusive partners refrain from abusing their children as well. If your wife has hit you, slapped you, demeaned you, or publicly humiliated you, chances are that she will one day do it to your child, even if she has not yet. Furthermore, research suggests that abusers tend to escalate their behavior when their victims try to leave, which means your child could be at particular risk of being victimized when you file for divorce. Give the judge the information he or she needs to keep your child safe by being open about any abuse you or your child have suffered at the hands of your wife. 

Protect Yourself

Your child is not the only one who deserves protection. You, too, deserve to feel safe and secure. Even if you decide not to get a protective order, including details about your partner’s abuse in your divorce process can make it easier for you to get what you need out of the divorce, potentially including alimony or restitution for medical bills or things your spouse destroyed. For example, in some states, domestic abuse can be used to influence the outcome of a divorce, including the property division process. This may be necessary to help you get back on your feet following the divorce, especially if you were financially dependent on your spouse. 

Fathers of young children who are unhappily married often stay together for many years longer than they would otherwise because they are afraid of hurting their children. Fears that the child may grow up to have depression and anxiety, to suffer at school, or, worse, to get involved in drugs and alcohol or struggle with juvenile delinquency are all legitimate; research shows that children of divorced parents are at heightened risk of these behaviors. 

However, research also shows that fathers can mitigate the negative impacts of divorce by carefully managing the divorce in a way that protects the kids from its most damaging elements. This means that, when done right, you can get out of an unhappy marriage and protect your kids’ best interests. 

Parents Have a Lower Impact on Children’s Future Personalities than Previously Thought

While there is no question that parental behavior can shape a child’s attitude and general happiness level at any given moment, research also shows that children’s fundamental personalities seem to be dictated more by genetics than by environment. Adopted children are more like their biological parents than their adoptive parents, and identical twins raised separately are more alike than not. 

All divorcing spouses must come to an agreement as to how they will divide their marital estate. For some spouses, this is simple and straightforward; for others, it is a long, complicated process. Over the years, women have gotten a reputation for being most frequently wronged by malicious behaviors on the part of their husbands during asset division. However, as more and more women outearn men in the workforce, the exact same motivations that drive men to hide assets from their wives are applicable when it comes to wives hiding assets from their husbands. Some spouses do it to reduce the amount of the marital estate they have to divide; other spouses do it to reduce child or spousal support payments. 

If you are a father getting divorced, it is important not to underestimate the chances of your wife attempting to hide assets from you. You deserve the full share of assets to which you are entitled under the law, and a divorce attorney in your state can help you make sure that you get it. 

How Do I Know if My Wife is Hiding Assets in Our Divorce? 

It can be difficult to know whether someone you once loved and trusted would do something as detrimental to your well-being as trying to diminish your share of your marital property by hiding assets from you. However, if your spouse has a history of financial dishonesty - or of compulsive dishonesty in general - you need to be on the alert for suspicious financial behavior. If large amounts of money are missing from your shared bank accounts, if cash withdrawals are unexplained, or if your wife suddenly seems to have a drop in income, she may be hiding, or planning to hide, assets from you. 

One of the most common misconceptions about divorce or paternity cases is that, no matter the circumstances, it is always the father who ends up paying the mother child support. However, things are often more complicated than this, and in many states, the laws have been recently updated to give dads a greater chance of involvement in their child’s life. These laws also balance the support obligations between both parents and make it more likely that a father will be able to play at least an equal role as the mother in every aspect of the child’s life. 

In fact, more dads than ever now are what are called “custodial fathers.” This may sound like an impersonal technical term, but a custodial father is a man who has the primary responsibility of raising his children - sometimes even without the help of the mother. Custodial fathers are actually highly likely to receive child support from their child’s other parent, especially if they have custody of the child more than half of the time. 

How Do States Handle Child Support in 2022? 

While it would certainly be convenient if each state had the same child support laws as the others, child support laws and calculation formulas can vary greatly between states. However, there is no state that mandates that a child’s biological or adoptive father must be the parent who pays child support. Instead, states hold both parents responsible for financially supporting a child, and will consider the incomes of both parents when determining a family’s overall financial obligation to its children. 

Divorce is rarely cheap, but fathers often have to bear the brunt of the cost as they make alimony and child support payments and sometimes even pay for their spouse’s attorney. Making things worse, fathers are often the ones who move out of the house during divorce, meaning they may have to go through the divorce process without seeing their children regularly. 

Although some financial difficulties of divorce are hard to avoid, there are certain steps that experts recommend that could help you manage your finances more easily. If you can implement any of these, you may just be able to make your divorce your doable. 

Know Your Full Financial Picture

Although some couples feel painfully aware of how little they have, others may not be fully cognizant of their total financial picture. This is a mistake because you cannot fight for your fair share of marital assets if you are not sure what they are. You should know the balances of any savings accounts, retirement accounts, or credit card bills, as well as whether any tax refund is likely in the upcoming year. If you have a prenuptial agreement detailing your property in a divorce, review it now. 

One of the most significant challenges following divorce is adjusting to life in two single-parent homes. For children, this can be a particularly hard transition, especially if movement between parents is chaotic and unpredictable. For fathers, it can be a time filled with conflict, uncertainty, and the fear that spending less time with your children may result in a more distant relationship. 

For fathers who live in a different state than their children, this fear can be particularly acute. You may not be able to afford to transport the children between their other parent’s home and your own as frequently as you would like. You may find it difficult to talk to them on the phone, especially if their other parent tries to prevent electronic communication. Fortunately, even if your children move to another state, you can still ask a court to instate a visitation order that allows you to maintain a warm, close relationship with your children. 

Long-Distance Parenting and Visitation

Long-distance parenting schedules usually, by necessity, have the children spend the majority of the year with one parent. School schedules prohibit frequently traveling back and forth, especially if the distance is great. One thing a judge may consider when deciding how to allocate visitation is whether you or your ex is the one who wanted to move out of state. 

Divorce is a time of major emotional upheaval for parents and kids alike. Parents are frequently so busy trying to negotiate a divorce settlement - much of which is done with the kids’ best interests at heart - that they forget to pay nearly as much attention to the kids themselves. The result can be grumpy, misbehaving, upset kids, and a befuddled parent who does not understand why the kids cannot see they are doing their best. 

Fathers in particular stand the risk of becoming alienated from their kids during and after divorce, both because of actions ex-wives sometimes take, and because of uncertainty about how to best stay connected with their children. If you are a father of children getting divorced, you can act to maintain a strong relationship with your children, no matter what your ex is doing.  

Fight For Your Relationship with Your Kids

Kids react to divorce in strange and surprising ways. One common reaction is to push away one or both parents out of anger, hurt, or a sense of betrayal. Your job as a father is to use your greater maturity and perspective to resist being wounded by your kids’ actions. Even in extreme situations when your child says they do not want to speak to you, keep reaching out. Even if your ex tries to move to another state, move to be close to them. Work to maintain a relationship, even when it seems your child is not interested in one. Ask your kids to send pictures, send pictures of yourself, text, call, send emails - keep in touch however you can. 

No one goes into a divorce expecting it to be easy, but most people do not realize just how complex and challenging the financial aspects can be. There are a number of financial issues that a couple will need to address during divorce, from dividing their assets and debts to figuring out whether one spouse will pay child support or spousal support to the other. If these issues are not handled correctly, a couple may encounter contentious legal battles that may drag the divorce process out for multiple months or even years, resulting in additional expenses and financial complications.

As a couple works to divide their marital assets, they will need to be sure they fully understand the extent of property they own, the value of different assets, and the steps they can take to ensure they will each have the financial resources they need going forward. This process requires spouses to be completely open and honest with each other about all financial issues. Unfortunately, there are many cases where spouses may conceal information from each other and attempt to unfairly influence the property division process. Matters may become even more complicated in situations where one spouse has acted in a way that has caused financial harm to the other. In cases involving the dissipation of assets, a spouse will need to work with an experienced Chicago divorce attorney to determine how to address this issue.

For most couples, divorce is a time of heightened emotions. Anger, betrayal, and resentment can all combine to create a ruthless opposition to each other during divorce negotiations. Sadly, children can get caught up in their parents’ fights and are used as pawns by each parent to play out the adults’ interpersonal conflict. 

When parental conflict reaches dangerous or violent heights, or when a parent may no longer be able to care for their children safely, supervised visitation can be ordered by the judge overseeing the custody or divorce case. Supervised visitation is when a parent can only spend time with their child when another adult, like a social worker, is present. While supervised visitation can seem unfair, it is essential to cooperate with the system so you can get through this stage and return back to normal with your kids. 

Why is Supervised Visitation Ordered? 

Judges are responsible for ordering supervised visitation and they may do it for a number of reasons. The most common reasons include: 

In times past, fathers rarely received full custody of their children. Using the “tender years” doctrine, courts all across America would almost always give mothers primary custody, and fathers would often be left with visitation on weekends and some holidays. Even when the mother was clearly not capable of providing the children with a safe home, fathers often had to fight to get custody of their kids, and they rarely succeeded. 

In recent years, this has begun to change. American courts and cultural institutions now recognize the crucial influence that fathers play in their children’s lives. Unfortunately, getting to this point took many years of families being torn apart and children suffering without the guidance and love of their fathers. Fortunately, things do not have to be this way for modern fathers who are looking to protect their parental rights. 

Joint Custody Is the Ideal

Although courts recognize the importance of fatherhood, they strive to maintain a balance between divorced or unmarried parents so children will have the best opportunity to have a close relationship with both parents. Many states now begin the custody process with the assumption that joint custody is in the best interest of the children. This assumption must be overcome by providing convincing evidence that it would not be best for parents to share custody of their children. 

While domestic violence is a serious concern in marriages across the United States, it is easy to falsely accuse a father of marital abuse during divorce and have courts take it seriously. Once such an accusation has entered the picture, the man accused of the abuse often has to spend an enormous amount of time, energy, and money trying to prove that he never committed the abuse. Unfortunately, the presumption of innocence is frequently denied, and the father is the one stuck trying to demonstrate his innocence so he can get custody of his kids. If you have been falsely accused of abuse or are worried you may be, here are some steps you can take. 

Keep Your Data Private

Wives who have feelings of extreme jealousy, possessiveness, and anger management issues often snoop through their husband’s private material without justification. Change your passwords, PINs, and other information that could give your wife access to your private accounts. If your wife begins making threats, document them and share them with family members and friends so you can begin establishing a history of threatening behavior. 

Take False Allegations Seriously

Many fathers are shocked when allegations of abuse are made against them. While your marriage may not have been perfect, it can be hard to believe your wife would make such a claim, and you may be tempted to brush it off or hope it blows over. However, even false allegations are important to take seriously because they can carry serious consequences, including the loss of access to your children and even arrest and jail time.