Most people understand the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. For multiple decades, public safety campaigns have informed people about how the use of these substances can affect a person’s ability to drive safely. Drivers know that violating the law by driving while intoxicated can lead to multiple types of consequences, ranging from fines or the loss of a driver’s license to time in prison. However, people can make mistakes, and a lapse in judgment could lead to an arrest on suspicion of drunk driving and criminal charges for driving under the influence (DUI).

While a DUI charge will have criminal consequences, it can affect someone’s personal life as well. If you are a father who has been arrested for DUI, you will want to understand how this will affect your custody of your children and your ability to spend visitation time with them. Fortunately, with the help of a DUI defense attorney, you can determine how to handle your criminal case, and you can also learn about the steps you can take to minimize the impact on your relationship with your children.

Child Custody Issues Related to DUI

Family courts are concerned with protecting children’s best interests and making sure they will be safe when in the care of their parents. Unfortunately, a DUI charge may be seen as an indication that your children could be at risk of harm when they are with you. If your children’s other parent is concerned about your children’s health and safety, they may ask for modifications to your child custody agreement that will reduce or place restrictions on the time you spend with your children.

Multiple studies have confirmed the profound benefits associated with fathers being involved in their children’s lives. Children who spend time with their fathers are more likely to perform well in school, attend college, and find stable employment. They are less likely to experience teen pregnancy or incarceration. There are also countless benefits gained by fathers who enjoy a close relationship with their children. If you are a father and your child’s other parent is not letting you see your kids, it is important to understand your rights and legal options. You may need to take steps to establish or enforce a child custody order to assert your rights.

Child Custody Orders Through the Court

When an unmarried couple has children or parents get divorced, many fathers assume that they can skip establishing a formal child custody agreement. They assume that the child’s mother will abide by whatever custody agreement the parents determine at the time of the breakup. Unfortunately, relying on casual child custody or visitation arrangements can backfire dramatically. Courts cannot enforce a child custody agreement unless it was established through the court. Consequently, fathers should always make sure that they have a court-ordered child custody or parenting time agreement in place.

Establishing Paternity of Your Child

Before you can get a child custody order, you must first establish legal parentage or paternity of your child. When a baby is born to married parents or parents who were married at the time of the child’s conception, paternity is typically assumed by law. However, an unmarried father may need to take additional action to establish himself as the child’s legal parent. The steps needed to establish paternity vary from state to state, but generally, establishing paternity is much easier if the parents agree on the father’s biological relationship with the child. If your child’s mother denies that you are the child’s father, you may need to undergo DNA paternity testing to prove your parentage.

Whether an addiction involves illicit substances, prescription medication, gambling, or even compulsive shopping, the addiction impacts the entire family. If you are a father and your wife is currently struggling with substance abuse or other addictive behaviors, you know firsthand just how impossible the situation can feel. On the one hand, you want to ensure that your children grow up in a safe, healthy home. On the other hand, you feel like divorcing your wife will leave her feeling abandoned or even lead to further destructive behavior.  

Only you can know for sure if divorce is right for you and your children. If you are ready to get divorced, keep the following factors in mind.

The Children’s Safety Has to Come First

For many families struggling with addiction, the addiction is often the “elephant in the room.” Everyone pretends as if the addicted person’s behavior is normal. Unfortunately, ignoring the problem will not make it go away. When children are involved, downplaying the negative consequences of the addiction may even be deadly. If your child’s mother has an alcohol or drug addiction and you have reason to believe that she is not capable of keeping your children safe, do not leave your children with alone with her. As much as it may break your heart, your children’s safety has to be the priority. This may mean that you will need to petition the court for sole custody of the children both during and after the divorce.  

If you are a father who is going through a divorce, or if you are unmarried and separated from your children’s other parent, issues related to the custody of your children are likely to be at the top of your mind. In our modern culture, dads are more and more likely to be closely involved in raising their kids, and in some cases, fathers may even act as stay-at-home parents or be the one who is most involved in caring for their children and meeting their needs. If this is true in your situation, or if you believe that restrictions should apply to child custody to protect your children, you may be wondering whether it will be possible for you to be granted sole custody of your kids.

When Is Sole Custody Appropriate?

While the specific laws that apply to child custody vary from state to state, most of the time, courts prefer for both parents to be closely involved in raising their children. Because of this, parents will usually share joint custody. In cases involving joint legal custody, parents will share the responsibility of making decisions about how the children will be raised. In cases involving joint physical custody, children will spend parenting time with each parent.

If the court does choose to award sole custody to one parent, it will usually be for one of the following reasons:

As divorced parents, you and your ex may not see eye to eye on a variety of issues, including those related to your children’s health and the medical care they receive. Vaccinations are one issue that can sometimes cause disputes. While the ongoing rollout of COVID-19 vaccines is currently the most prominent example, parents may also need to address the standard immunizations that children receive. If you and your ex disagree about whether your children should be vaccinated, you will want to understand your rights and the steps that you may need to take to resolve this issue.

Parental Responsibility for Health Care Decisions

Most of the time, divorced parents will share legal custody of their children. This means they will both have the right and responsibility to make decisions related to issues such as the education and medical care the children will receive. However, in some cases, one parent may have sole or primary responsibility when it comes to decisions about the children’s medical needs. In these situations, that parent will usually have the final say about whether children will be vaccinated, although the other parent may take legal action to address this issue if they believe their children’s health and well-being are at risk.

If you and your ex have equal responsibility in medical decisions for your children and you disagree about vaccinations, you may be able to work these issues out between yourselves and reach a decision about what would be best for your children. However, if you cannot reach an agreement, you may need to go to court and ask a judge to make a decision on the issue. In these cases, a judge may consider a variety of factors, such as testimony from medical experts about whether children should or should not be vaccinated, the parents’ religious beliefs, and each parent’s level of involvement in addressing their children’s medical issues.

If you’re a dad who is going through a divorce, you’re likely to be worried about spending less time with your kids. Unfortunately, this is an issue that is going to be unavoidable, since the time that your children spend with one parent is time that they won’t be with the other parent. You’ll need to adjust to not being with your kids every day, but you’ll also want to make sure you can spend time with them at every available opportunity. One way you can do so is by making sure your parenting agreement includes a “right of first refusal” clause.

What Is the Right of First Refusal?

Your parenting agreement will include detailed information about when your children will spend parenting time with you and your ex-spouse. A daily schedule will specify the days and times when your kids will be with each parent, and your agreement will also cover holidays, school vacations, and any other days where you will deviate from the normal schedule. However, there may be some days when either you or your ex will not be able to have parenting time with your kids as scheduled. These situations may be addressed by including a “right of first refusal” in your agreement.

The right of first refusal is a clause stating that when one parent will be unable to provide care for your children during their scheduled parenting time, they will be required to contact the other parent and see if they are available to watch the children before making other arrangements, such as hiring a babysitter or having kids stay with relatives. Essentially, the other parent will be given the first opportunity to have their children stay with them, and other arrangements can only be made if the parent refuses to take the children during that time.

If you are a devoted father, there are few things worse than being accused of committing violence or abuse against your spouse or children. In some cases, these types of claims can arise out of misunderstandings or arguments that get out of control, but sadly, there are many situations when a spouse or a current or former partner accuses a father of domestic violence in an attempt to gain an advantage in a child custody dispute. If you are facing accusations of domestic violence or abuse, you will want to do the following:

Follow the Court’s Orders

If your children’s other parent has obtained an emergency restraining order or order of protection against you, it is important to follow all of the requirements and restrictions in the order. Even if the order was based on false accusations, you will be required to follow all of its terms while it is in effect. Even though it may be difficult, you may need to move out of your home temporarily, and you may be unable to see or communicate with your children until these matters are resolved. If you violate a protective order, you could face criminal charges, as well as additional restrictions that affect your parental rights.

Gather Evidence to Support Your Side of the Story

As you prepare to defend yourself against accusations that you have committed domestic violence or abuse, you’ll want to gather as much evidence as possible to explain what actually happened and show that you are not a danger to your children. You may be able to provide an alibi to show that you were not present at the date and time the abuse allegedly occurred, or copies of communication with your children’s other parent may show that they have behaved unreasonably in the past. If necessary, you can provide records related to treatment for mental health or substance abuse issues, and you can obtain statements from friends or family members regarding your character and fitness as a parent. If child protective services are looking into claims of abuse, you will want to cooperate with them, provide any information they request, and follow their recommendations.

In many divorce cases where a couple has children, it is assumed that the father will pay child support to the mother. However, this isn’t always the case. In many modern families, dads and moms play equal roles in caring for their kids, and they should continue to do so after they become separated or get divorced. Depending on the circumstances, some dads may even be named the custodial parent of their children and have the majority of the parenting time with their kids after getting divorced or breaking up with an unmarried partner. In these types of situations, dads will need to be sure to understand their rights regarding child support.

Child Support for Dads Who Have Primary Physical Custody or Shared Custody

The purpose of child support is to ensure that both parents contribute toward their children’s needs. Typically, the parent who the children live with the majority of the time will receive child support from the other parent. This means that if your children stay with you most of the time, you may have the right to receive child support from your ex-spouse. Even if you were not married to your children’s mother, both of you will be required to provide financial support for your children, and as the custodial parent, you can ask a family court judge to enforce these obligations.

Depending on the state where you live, different methods may be used to calculate the amount of child support you can receive from your child’s mother. Some states determine child support using a percentage of the non-custodial parent’s income. However, many states are shifting to an income-sharing model that takes the amount earned by both parents into account. In these cases, an amount of child support will usually be determined based on what both parents would have spent to care for their children if they were still together. This amount will usually be divided between the parents based on the amount of income each parent earns. If you are the custodial parent, your ex will be required to pay her portion of the total child support amount to you.

When it comes to divorce, many dads worry that they face an uphill battle. Culturally, mothers are often considered to be the parents who are most concerned with childcare and household responsibilities. This means that even when a dad plays an equal role in raising his children, he may need to fight against the assumption the mother should have primary custody. To make matters worse, a father may worry that he will be considered a deadbeat due to his absence from his children’s lives.

Whether you are currently going through the divorce process or have completed your divorce, you’ll want to make sure that you can continue to be the father your children deserve. The last thing you want is for your children to feel that you are not there when they need you. To avoid the possibility of being considered a deadbeat dad, you’ll want to do the following:

• Pay child support on time - The most common reason that dads are labeled deadbeats is that they don’t pay child support as required. Even if you think that it’s unfair that a large percentage of your income will be going to your ex, remember that the money is being used to provide for your kids’ needs. If you don’t pay child support on time or in full, you will still be required to pay the full amount owed, along with interest on late payments. Failure to pay child support could also cause you to be held in contempt of court, which could lead to a variety of consequences, including time in prison. If you have lost your job or experienced other financial issues that affect your ability to pay, you’ll want to bring this matter to the court’s attention immediately to ensure that you won’t be penalized.

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UPDATE: As of March 2021, the COVID-19 pandemic is continuing to affect people throughout the United States. While vaccines are being rolled out, the majority of people have not yet been vaccinated, and people are still taking steps to protect the safety of themselves and their family members, including staying at home when possible and wearing masks and following social distancing practices while in public. In many cases where parents are divorcing or divorced, families have settled into routines that allow children to spend reasonable amounts of time with both parents while ensuring that everyone's health and safety is protected.

However, some parents have encountered legal issues related to disputes over child custody during the pandemic. These parents will want to understand that most states have issued orders stating that parents should follow existing child custody arrangements whenever possible, and parents continue to have the right to reasonable parenting time with their children. While some state courts are still operating at limited capacity for in-person hearings, most courts will hear emergency matters, which may include cases involving a parent's violation of their court-ordered child custody agreements. Even if a case cannot be heard in person, many courts are also providing virtual hearings held using videoconferencing tools, ensuring that parents can address child-related issues quickly and effectively. If you need to address unreasonable actions by your ex-spouse or co-parent, or if you believe changes to your parenting agreement are needed to protect your children's safety, you will want to work with a child custody attorney to ensure that these matters are resolved properly during the COVID-19 crisis.

COVID-19 has affected the lives of just about everyone in the United States. Even if you or members of your family have not been personally affected by a coronavirus infection, you will still need to deal with school closures, shelter-in-place orders, and social distancing restrictions. This can all be stressful enough, especially if government-mandated business closures have affected your ability to work, but matters may become even worse if you are involved in a child custody dispute during this time. In these cases, you will want to be sure to understand how to protect your rights and the legal measures you can take to address these issues.

Getting divorced is almost never easy, but it can become much more difficult and complicated if your spouse is a narcissist. This mental health disorder can take a variety of forms, but a narcissist will typically act with self-importance and put their own needs and desires ahead of others. They often take advantage of others, refuse to recognize other people’s needs, and demand that other people follow their wishes. Unfortunately, narcissists can also be very charming and persuasive. If your ex has narcissistic tendencies, you may be in for a difficult battle during your divorce. Fortunately, you can protect yourself by understanding the strategies that can expose your ex’s unrealistic expectations and unreasonable demands and make sure you will not be taken advantage of.

Standing up to a Narcissistic Spouse

During your divorce, you’ll need to make adjustments to the behaviors and methods of communication you may have been used to during your relationship with your spouse. What worked (or most likely didn’t work) during your marriage will no longer apply, and to avoid being manipulated, you’ll need to figure out how to put a stop to the strategies your ex normally uses to get their way. As you work to complete the divorce process, you’ll want to do the following:

1. Stand up for yourself - Your ex may have become used to doing whatever they want and having you agree to their demands. Since you’re no longer in a married relationship, you no longer have to back down in order to keep the peace. Standing up for your rights and interests will let your ex know that you’re no longer going to let them control you and that your needs are just as important as theirs.

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If you are a dad who is going through the divorce process, transitioning to single parenthood can be a challenging process. As you deal with the many legal and financial issues that must be addressed to legally end your marriage, cope with moving to a new home and making changes in your life, and figure out how to maintain a good relationship with your children while sharing child custody with your ex, you’ll probably experience a great deal of stress, and your health may suffer. This is understandable, but it’s a concern that you’re going to want to address, since studies have found that the mortality rate for single fathers is three times higher than for dads who are married or in a partnership.

Focus on Your Physical and Mental Health

By taking care of your health and wellness, you can not only live a longer and happier life, but you can make sure you will be able to be the best dad you can be for your kids. You can make a number of positive changes to your lifestyle as you adjust to your new life as a single dad, including:

• Exercise regularly - Being physically active is good for your heart, lungs, and other parts of your body, and it can also boost your overall energy while providing benefits for your mental health. Even if you are unable to visit the gym on a regular basis, you can find ways to exercise at home by walking or jogging outside, playing sports, or using online apps to create a home workout routine. You can also get exercise while spending time with your kids, such as by using a stroller when walking or jogging, taking bike rides together, or enjoying physical games and activities.

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If you’re in the midst of the divorce process, you probably aren’t getting along with your spouse very well, and this can make sharing a home very difficult. As you plan for the changes that you’ll be making in your life, you’re probably considering finding new living arrangements. However, moving out could result in legal and financial issues that may affect you going forward, so you’ll want to discuss these concerns with your divorce attorney to make sure you understand your rights, your options, and the best ways to proceed.

Exclusive Possession, Property Ownership, and Child Custody

You may expect that you and your spouse will be selling your home during your divorce. If you’re planning to move out, your ex may wish to continue owning and living in the house. This can ensure that your children can keep attending the same schools while maintaining relationships with friends and others in the community. However, if you move without ensuring that issues related to homeownership and marital property are addressed properly, this could lead to complications that affect your divorce and your finances.

As long as your name is on your home’s title and mortgage, you will have financial responsibilities toward the property. This means that even if you have signed a lease on a new apartment or another type of home, your ex may ask that the court require you to continue contributing to mortgage payments and other living expenses, such as utility bills or property taxes. Before moving, it is best to make sure the proper arrangements are made and that your obligations toward the property are addressed in court. By ensuring that your name is removed from the home’s mortgage, you can also avoid potential conflicts that could affect your ability to buy a new home in the future.

If you are a dad who has gone through a divorce or is currently in the middle of the divorce process, you may still be working to pick up the pieces and determine how to move forward with your life. At some point, you’re probably going to be ready to start dating again. While finding a new partner and building a relationship can be a positive development in your life, it can also add some additional complications. One of the largest concerns you will face is when you can introduce your new partner to your kids. This can be a tricky situation to handle, and by approaching it the right way, you can help your children adjust to the changes in their lives while ensuring that you can maintain a positive relationship with them in the years to come.

Choosing the Right Time for an Introduction

After you begin a new relationship, you’ll probably want to spend as much time with your new partner as possible, and you may be looking to include them in all the parts of your life that are important to you, including your parenting time with your children. However, you don’t want to rush things, and it’s often best to ease yourself, your kids, and your partner into these changes.

Before telling your kids that you’re dating or making plans to have them meet your partner, you’ll want to make sure that this is a relationship that will last. You should probably be dating for at least a few months before you consider having your kids meet your partner, and you should make sure you both understand that the relationship is serious and exclusive. The two of you should discuss your plans and desires for your relationship, and you should both be ready to take the next step and begin building new relationships with your kids. Depending on your relationship with your ex, you may also want to inform them that you will be introducing a new person into your kids’ lives, which can help avoid conflict or other parenting issues in the future.

Divorce cases can become complicated quickly, especially when children are involved. While some divorcing parents are able to work together to reach agreements on how they will handle child custody, others may find it difficult or impossible to cooperate, requiring them to settle these matters in court. When family court judges are asked to make decisions about child-related issues, they may feel that they do not have enough information to determine what is best for the children, and they may appoint a guardian ad litem to assist in this area. A guardian ad litem may also be appointed at the request of either parent.

What is a Guardian ad Litem?

A guardian ad litem, or GAL, is usually an attorney who has received training in child-related issues. The GAL will act as a representative for the child or children, and their goal is to determine how to resolve child custody issues in a way that will provide for the children’s best interests. After being appointed, the GAL will perform an investigation, which may include meeting with the individual parents, interviewing the children, visiting the parents’ homes, observing the parents while they are caring for their children, and speaking to other people who may have insight into the case, such as teachers, doctors, therapists, daycare providers, or extended family members.

In some cases, a GAL may work with the parents to help them reach agreements about child custody matters, while in others, they may provide a report to the judge that offers recommendations about how these issues should be handled. These recommendations will be based on what the GAL believes is in the children’s best interests, and while the GAL will consider the children’s wishes, they will also weigh other factors involved in the case. If a trial will be needed in the divorce or child custody case, the GAL may be called as a witness and asked questions by both parties’ attorneys.

There are many reasons couples get divorced, and infidelity is high on the list. When one spouse has an extramarital affair, the other spouse may feel betrayed, and this could lead them to attempt to get revenge either before ending the marriage or during divorce proceedings. The strong emotions that these situations can evoke will often lead to increased levels of conflict between spouses, making it difficult to reach agreements during the divorce process. If infidelity is a factor in your divorce, you’ll want to be sure to understand your rights and determine how it may affect the decisions made in your case.

Filing for Divorce

Whether you plan to begin the process of ending your marriage by filing a petition for divorce or need to respond to your spouse’s divorce petition, you’ll want to determine whether infidelity should be addressed at this stage. While some states may allow spouses to cite fault-based grounds for divorce, such as adultery, most states allow for no-fault divorce. In these cases, a divorce petition will simply state that the marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences. While listing infidelity as a grounds for divorce may be possible in your state, it may be best to avoid laying the blame for your divorce in the initial filing or response, since this may help you avoid conflict later in the divorce process.

Addressing Infidelity During Divorce Proceedings

In many cases, an extramarital affair won’t play a direct role in the decisions made during a divorce. Typically, issues such as the division of marital property will be based on what is fair and equitable for both parties, and “marital misconduct” will not be a factor that is considered. However, some states do allow adultery or other forms of misconduct to be considered when making decisions about whether to award spousal support. An affair may affect the property division process if a spouse is accused of dissipating assets, or using marital funds or property for non-marital purposes.

While the coronavirus pandemic has affected us all, the ongoing rollout of vaccines has provided some hope that there is an end in sight to this difficult situation. Even though it may still be several months before vaccines become available to many people, planning to address these issues can help families minimize their risks. While parents will want to determine how to handle vaccinations for themselves and their children, divorced parents may face additional complications when addressing these issues. Since they will want to be sure they, their children, and their extended family members will be protected from potential infections, parents will want to work with each other to determine how to approach vaccinations while also keeping each other informed about health issues that may affect their children.

Vaccinations for Parents and Other Family Members

While COVID-19 vaccines are currently being distributed, the limited quantities available mean that certain people will have priority for receiving vaccinations. Currently, health care workers are being vaccinated, since they are at the highest risk of exposure. People who are at the highest risk of suffering severe illness due to a COVID-19 infection are also being prioritized, including the elderly and people who live in nursing homes or assisted living facilities.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) is recommending that people receive the COVID-19 vaccine as soon as it is available to them. While receiving the vaccine will provide a person with protection, everyone should continue to follow the CDC’s recommendations for preventing the spread of infection, including wearing masks, staying at least six feet away from others, avoiding crowded or poorly-ventilated areas, and washing their hands frequently.

Mental illness is an issue that has been on many people’s minds over the past year. The COVID-19 pandemic has caused many people and families to experience extreme levels of stress. Those who were already struggling with mental health concerns may have found it difficult to deal with additional problems related to safety issues and economic concerns, and political issues, widespread protests, and other events certainly haven’t helped. Even those who have never experienced issues such as depression or anxiety may have found themselves struggling to deal with everything that has been happening, and in some cases, this has led to the breakdown of relationships between married spouses.

While divorce can be difficult in any situation, it is likely to be even more complex if either you or your spouse has a mental illness. Whether these issues were the primary reason for the end of your marriage or are just one of multiple stresses on your relationship, you’ll want to be sure to understand the role that mental health may play during the divorce process.

Divorce Considerations Related to Mental Illness

Mental illness can take a variety of forms, and depending on whether a person is receiving treatment and managing their symptoms, these conditions may or may not play a significant role in a divorce. In some cases, a spouse may raise concerns about the safety of themself or their children, especially if the other party is acting erratically or has been unable to provide the proper care during their parenting time. In other cases, a spouse may exhibit narcissism, leading them to prolong conflict, act manipulatively, or even make false accusations of domestic violence or abuse.

As a father, divorce can be a frightening prospect, since it will most likely mean that you will have less time with your children, and you may worry about whether you will be able to be as involved in your kids’ lives as you were during your marriage. However, ending your marriage does not mean that you will have to take on a secondary parental role. As you and your spouse determine how you will handle the custody of your kids, you should be sure to understand the steps you can take to protect your parental rights. By making sure you will be able to share in parental responsibilities, you can continue to be a fully involved parent and the great dad your kids need.

Sharing Custody and Parenting Time

In the stereotypical divorce, the mother is awarded primary custody of the couple’s children, and the father is relegated to only seeing kids on a limited basis, such as every other weekend. However, this idea is a relic of the past based on old attitudes toward families and parenting. Many of today’s marriages are different than they were in previous generations, and when both parents are closely involved and play equal roles in their children’s lives, child custody arrangements should reflect this.

While the divorce laws are different in each state, in most cases, they do not favor either mothers or fathers when addressing child custody. Instead, they usually state that all decisions that are made should be based on what is in the children’s best interests. If you and your spouse worked together to make decisions about how your children should be raised, you should both continue to have the right to make these decisions following your divorce, and you should both have reasonable amounts of parenting time with your kids.

At the beginning of every year, many people make resolutions related to parts of their lives that they hope to change in the coming months. While many resolutions fall by the wayside after a few weeks, the new year can be a great opportunity for dads who recently went through a divorce to work on the healing process and continue to adjust to the ways their lives have changed. Single dads may want to consider making some or all of the following resolutions as they continue to build a new life for themselves:

1. Work on being a good co-parent - Even if the wounds of your divorce are still fresh, you’ll most likely need to maintain contact with your ex-spouse and work together to make sure you are both meeting your children’s needs. While you may not exactly be friendly with your ex, you can still work on communicating with each other and ensuring that you are both informed about what’s going on in your kids’ lives. You can also find ways to be flexible when necessary and adjust to changing schedules that affect when and where you pick up or drop off your kids or participate in their activities.

2. Focus on putting your children first - It’s understandable to be stressed out as you adjust to being a single parent, but one of the most important things you can do is be present in your kids’ lives as much as possible. While you can’t control what happens when they aren’t with you, you can make a commitment to focus on them during your parenting time. By talking to your kids, playing with them, enjoying activities together, helping with their homework, and giving them your full attention, you can continue to build a positive relationship that will last a lifetime.

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