While most people are aware of the dangers that domestic violence poses to women across the United States, fewer people know how serious and common domestic abuse against men is as well. Men tend to talk less about their abusers, especially when the abuser is their wife, because it can feel emasculating. Worse, research shows that the people men should be able to rely on for help in abusive situations, such as police and social workers, tend to take domestic abuse against men less seriously than the same abuse against women. But no matter who the target is, intimate partner violence is a dangerous tragedy that poses serious risks both to the victim and to his children. If you are getting divorced, here are some good reasons to let a judge know if your wife is abusing you.
Protect Your Child
Rarely do abusive partners refrain from abusing their children as well. If your wife has hit you, slapped you, demeaned you, or publicly humiliated you, chances are that she will one day do it to your child, even if she has not yet. Furthermore, research suggests that abusers tend to escalate their behavior when their victims try to leave, which means your child could be at particular risk of being victimized when you file for divorce. Give the judge the information he or she needs to keep your child safe by being open about any abuse you or your child have suffered at the hands of your wife.
Protect Yourself
Your child is not the only one who deserves protection. You, too, deserve to feel safe and secure. Even if you decide not to get a protective order, including details about your partner’s abuse in your divorce process can make it easier for you to get what you need out of the divorce, potentially including alimony or restitution for medical bills or things your spouse destroyed. For example, in some states, domestic abuse can be used to influence the outcome of a divorce, including the property division process. This may be necessary to help you get back on your feet following the divorce, especially if you were financially dependent on your spouse.
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