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dad's divorce lawyerOne of the most significant challenges following divorce is adjusting to life in two single-parent homes. For children, this can be a particularly hard transition, especially if movement between parents is chaotic and unpredictable. For fathers, it can be a time filled with conflict, uncertainty, and the fear that spending less time with your children may result in a more distant relationship. 

For fathers who live in a different state than their children, this fear can be particularly acute. You may not be able to afford to transport the children between their other parent’s home and your own as frequently as you would like. You may find it difficult to talk to them on the phone, especially if their other parent tries to prevent electronic communication. Fortunately, even if your children move to another state, you can still ask a court to instate a visitation order that allows you to maintain a warm, close relationship with your children. 

Long-Distance Parenting and Visitation

Long-distance parenting schedules usually, by necessity, have the children spend the majority of the year with one parent. School schedules prohibit frequently traveling back and forth, especially if the distance is great. One thing a judge may consider when deciding how to allocate visitation is whether you or your ex is the one who wanted to move out of state. 

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divorce lawyer for fathersDivorce is a time of major emotional upheaval for parents and kids alike. Parents are frequently so busy trying to negotiate a divorce settlement - much of which is done with the kids’ best interests at heart - that they forget to pay nearly as much attention to the kids themselves. The result can be grumpy, misbehaving, upset kids, and a befuddled parent who does not understand why the kids cannot see they are doing their best. 

Fathers in particular stand the risk of becoming alienated from their kids during and after divorce, both because of actions ex-wives sometimes take, and because of uncertainty about how to best stay connected with their children. If you are a father of children getting divorced, you can act to maintain a strong relationship with your children, no matter what your ex is doing.  

Fight For Your Relationship with Your Kids

Kids react to divorce in strange and surprising ways. One common reaction is to push away one or both parents out of anger, hurt, or a sense of betrayal. Your job as a father is to use your greater maturity and perspective to resist being wounded by your kids’ actions. Even in extreme situations when your child says they do not want to speak to you, keep reaching out. Even if your ex tries to move to another state, move to be close to them. Work to maintain a relationship, even when it seems your child is not interested in one. Ask your kids to send pictures, send pictures of yourself, text, call, send emails - keep in touch however you can. 

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fathers rights lawyerFor most couples, divorce is a time of heightened emotions. Anger, betrayal, and resentment can all combine to create a ruthless opposition to each other during divorce negotiations. Sadly, children can get caught up in their parents’ fights and are used as pawns by each parent to play out the adults’ interpersonal conflict. 

When parental conflict reaches dangerous or violent heights, or when a parent may no longer be able to care for their children safely, supervised visitation can be ordered by the judge overseeing the custody or divorce case. Supervised visitation is when a parent can only spend time with their child when another adult, like a social worker, is present. While supervised visitation can seem unfair, it is essential to cooperate with the system so you can get through this stage and return back to normal with your kids. 

Why is Supervised Visitation Ordered? 

Judges are responsible for ordering supervised visitation and they may do it for a number of reasons. The most common reasons include: 

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father sole child custody lawyerIn times past, fathers rarely received full custody of their children. Using the “tender years” doctrine, courts all across America would almost always give mothers primary custody, and fathers would often be left with visitation on weekends and some holidays. Even when the mother was clearly not capable of providing the children with a safe home, fathers often had to fight to get custody of their kids, and they rarely succeeded. 

In recent years, this has begun to change. American courts and cultural institutions now recognize the crucial influence that fathers play in their children’s lives. Unfortunately, getting to this point took many years of families being torn apart and children suffering without the guidance and love of their fathers. Fortunately, things do not have to be this way for modern fathers who are looking to protect their parental rights. 

Joint Custody Is the Ideal

Although courts recognize the importance of fatherhood, they strive to maintain a balance between divorced or unmarried parents so children will have the best opportunity to have a close relationship with both parents. Many states now begin the custody process with the assumption that joint custody is in the best interest of the children. This assumption must be overcome by providing convincing evidence that it would not be best for parents to share custody of their children. 

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divorce lawyer for dadsIssues affecting individuals who identify as transgender and non-binary have received extensive coverage lately in mainstream news and other media outlets. As researchers race to find out as much as possible about gender transitioning, children, with the support of their parents, are claiming to identify as transgender at younger and younger ages. Unfortunately, the tendency of this issue to become enmeshed in politics often obscures accurate information, preventing a thorough understanding of this complicated issue. 

For divorced parents of a child who claims to be transgender, this can present some tricky dilemmas. If your ex claims to support your child’s new identity, he or she may believe that there are necessary medical procedures or treatments. You may not agree with these treatments, and even believe them to be damaging or not well understood enough to be practiced on your child. Perhaps the situation is the exact opposite - maybe you believe your child is transgender and your ex does not agree. Whichever side of the debate you find yourself on, when it comes to your child’s health and wellbeing, you do not want to take chances. 

Can One Parent Allow a Child to Transition Their Gender? 

Parents who share custody often share decision-making responsibilities. This includes decisions about a child’s medical procedures, including common transgender treatments like hormones therapies and surgeries. If you share healthcare decision-making responsibilities about medical treatment with your ex, he or she cannot decide to allow or prevent your child to transition genders without your agreement. 

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