Should I Tell a Judge About My Wife’s Abusive Behavior? 

 Posted on February 22, 2023 in Family Law

Family Law Attorney for DadsWhile most people are aware of the dangers that domestic violence poses to women across the United States, fewer people know how serious and common domestic abuse against men is as well. Men tend to talk less about their abusers, especially when the abuser is their wife, because it can feel emasculating. Worse, research shows that the people men should be able to rely on for help in abusive situations, such as police and social workers, tend to take domestic abuse against men less seriously than the same abuse against women. But no matter who the target is, intimate partner violence is a dangerous tragedy that poses serious risks both to the victim and to his children. If you are getting divorced, here are some good reasons to let a judge know if your wife is abusing you. 

Protect Your Child

Rarely do abusive partners refrain from abusing their children as well. If your wife has hit you, slapped you, demeaned you, or publicly humiliated you, chances are that she will one day do it to your child, even if she has not yet. Furthermore, research suggests that abusers tend to escalate their behavior when their victims try to leave, which means your child could be at particular risk of being victimized when you file for divorce. Give the judge the information he or she needs to keep your child safe by being open about any abuse you or your child have suffered at the hands of your wife. 

Protect Yourself

Your child is not the only one who deserves protection. You, too, deserve to feel safe and secure. Even if you decide not to get a protective order, including details about your partner’s abuse in your divorce process can make it easier for you to get what you need out of the divorce, potentially including alimony or restitution for medical bills or things your spouse destroyed. For example, in some states, domestic abuse can be used to influence the outcome of a divorce, including the property division process. This may be necessary to help you get back on your feet following the divorce, especially if you were financially dependent on your spouse. 

Protect Others

When you take action against an abuser, including getting a protective order, there is a record of allegations of abuse. There may even be criminal charges for the abuse. This means that if your partner decides to abuse someone else in the future, their track record as an abuser will be much easier to identify and future victims may find it easier to get the help they need. You can help others by being forthcoming about your wife’s abuse now. 

Call a Local Father’s Rights Attorney

If your child’s other parent has abused you or your child, this information deserves to be known so that your child can have the best chance of a safe parenting arrangement that is in their best interests. Schedule a confidential consultation with a local father’s rights attorney to discuss your case and find out which steps you should take next. 



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