Issues affecting individuals who identify as transgender and non-binary have received extensive coverage lately in mainstream news and other media outlets. As researchers race to find out as much as possible about gender transitioning, children, with the support of their parents, are claiming to identify as transgender at younger and younger ages. Unfortunately, the tendency of this issue to become enmeshed in politics often obscures accurate information, preventing a thorough understanding of this complicated issue. 

For divorced parents of a child who claims to be transgender, this can present some tricky dilemmas. If your ex claims to support your child’s new identity, he or she may believe that there are necessary medical procedures or treatments. You may not agree with these treatments, and even believe them to be damaging or not well understood enough to be practiced on your child. Perhaps the situation is the exact opposite - maybe you believe your child is transgender and your ex does not agree. Whichever side of the debate you find yourself on, when it comes to your child’s health and wellbeing, you do not want to take chances. 

Can One Parent Allow a Child to Transition Their Gender? 

Parents who share custody often share decision-making responsibilities. This includes decisions about a child’s medical procedures, including common transgender treatments like hormones therapies and surgeries. If you share healthcare decision-making responsibilities about medical treatment with your ex, he or she cannot decide to allow or prevent your child to transition genders without your agreement. 

If you are a dad who is going through a divorce, you will understandably be concerned about your ability to spend time with your kids. While parents will be able to share legal custody of their children in most cases, physical custody (also known as visitation or parenting time) may not be divided equally. If your children will be living with their mother for the majority of the time, you will want to make the most of the time that you do have with your kids. You may also want to make sure that you will be able to have your kids stay with you at any times when their mother may be unavailable. To address these situations, you may want to make sure the right of first refusal is included in your parenting agreement or child custody order.

What Is the Right of First Refusal?

To ensure that your children will be able to have a parent caring for them whenever possible, you may agree to include provisions for the right of first refusal as you negotiate a parenting plan. As the term implies, these provisions will give a parent the right to assume care for children in situations where the other parent is unavailable. That is, if your ex cannot care for your children during days or times that they are scheduled to have parenting time, they must first contact you and offer you the opportunity to take the children during this time. They will only be able to make arrangements for having the children stay with others, such as a family member or babysitter, if you refuse the opportunity to care for the children during the time that the other parent is unavailable.

As you and the other parent determine how to address the right of first refusal in your parenting agreement, you will want to consider the following:

If you are a father who is going through a divorce, one of your primary concerns will be making sure you will be able to continue to spend time with your kids, maintain close relationships with them, and be as involved as possible in their lives. Even if you will not have primary custody of your children, you should be able to have regular parenting time. By understanding how the laws in your state address your rights to share custody of your children, you can make sure your divorce decree will meet your needs and allow you to have the relationship with your children that they deserve.

Protecting Fathers’ Rights to Visitation and Physical Custody

It is important to remember that as a parent, you have the same rights toward your children as your spouse. Neither mothers nor fathers are given preference in child custody cases, and the decisions made in family court are based on what is in the children’s best interests. This means that you should be able to maintain the same level of involvement in raising your children as you have had since they were born.

While the laws that affect child custody cases are different in each state, these laws generally will presume that parents are fit to care for their children unless there is evidence that shows otherwise. A parent’s right to share custody may be affected in cases where there are documented instances of domestic violence, substance abuse, or other issues affecting children’s health and safety. However, in most cases, dads will be considered to have the ability to care for their children and provide for their needs, and they will have the right to spend reasonable amounts of regular, ongoing parenting time with their kids.

If you are a devoted father, there are few things worse than being accused of committing violence or abuse against your spouse or children. In some cases, these types of claims can arise out of misunderstandings or arguments that get out of control, but sadly, there are many situations when a spouse or a current or former partner accuses a father of domestic violence in an attempt to gain an advantage in a child custody dispute. If you are facing accusations of domestic violence or abuse, you will want to do the following:

Follow the Court’s Orders

If your children’s other parent has obtained an emergency restraining order or order of protection against you, it is important to follow all of the requirements and restrictions in the order. Even if the order was based on false accusations, you will be required to follow all of its terms while it is in effect. Even though it may be difficult, you may need to move out of your home temporarily, and you may be unable to see or communicate with your children until these matters are resolved. If you violate a protective order, you could face criminal charges, as well as additional restrictions that affect your parental rights.

Gather Evidence to Support Your Side of the Story

As you prepare to defend yourself against accusations that you have committed domestic violence or abuse, you’ll want to gather as much evidence as possible to explain what actually happened and show that you are not a danger to your children. You may be able to provide an alibi to show that you were not present at the date and time the abuse allegedly occurred, or copies of communication with your children’s other parent may show that they have behaved unreasonably in the past. If necessary, you can provide records related to treatment for mental health or substance abuse issues, and you can obtain statements from friends or family members regarding your character and fitness as a parent. If child protective services are looking into claims of abuse, you will want to cooperate with them, provide any information they request, and follow their recommendations.

Most people understand the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. For multiple decades, public safety campaigns have informed people about how the use of these substances can affect a person’s ability to drive safely. Drivers know that violating the law by driving while intoxicated can lead to multiple types of consequences, ranging from fines or the loss of a driver’s license to time in prison. However, people can make mistakes, and a lapse in judgment could lead to an arrest on suspicion of drunk driving and criminal charges for driving under the influence (DUI).

While a DUI charge will have criminal consequences, it can affect someone’s personal life as well. If you are a father who has been arrested for DUI, you will want to understand how this will affect your custody of your children and your ability to spend visitation time with them. Fortunately, with the help of a DUI defense attorney, you can determine how to handle your criminal case, and you can also learn about the steps you can take to minimize the impact on your relationship with your children.

Child Custody Issues Related to DUI

Family courts are concerned with protecting children’s best interests and making sure they will be safe when in the care of their parents. Unfortunately, a DUI charge may be seen as an indication that your children could be at risk of harm when they are with you. If your children’s other parent is concerned about your children’s health and safety, they may ask for modifications to your child custody agreement that will reduce or place restrictions on the time you spend with your children.