If you’re in the midst of the divorce process, you probably aren’t getting along with your spouse very well, and this can make sharing a home very difficult. As you plan for the changes that you’ll be making in your life, you’re probably considering finding new living arrangements. However, moving out could result in legal and financial issues that may affect you going forward, so you’ll want to discuss these concerns with your divorce attorney to make sure you understand your rights, your options, and the best ways to proceed.

Exclusive Possession, Property Ownership, and Child Custody

You may expect that you and your spouse will be selling your home during your divorce. If you’re planning to move out, your ex may wish to continue owning and living in the house. This can ensure that your children can keep attending the same schools while maintaining relationships with friends and others in the community. However, if you move without ensuring that issues related to homeownership and marital property are addressed properly, this could lead to complications that affect your divorce and your finances.

As long as your name is on your home’s title and mortgage, you will have financial responsibilities toward the property. This means that even if you have signed a lease on a new apartment or another type of home, your ex may ask that the court require you to continue contributing to mortgage payments and other living expenses, such as utility bills or property taxes. Before moving, it is best to make sure the proper arrangements are made and that your obligations toward the property are addressed in court. By ensuring that your name is removed from the home’s mortgage, you can also avoid potential conflicts that could affect your ability to buy a new home in the future.

The term “self-care” refers to taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. The importance of self-care during a divorce – especially a high-conflict divorce- can hardly be overstated. Although articles suggesting good self-care practices are often geared toward women, men are just as in need of self-care as anyone else. If you are a dad going through a contentious divorce, you know just how stressful and frustrating it can be. Consider the following tips for prioritizing your mental wellbeing during this challenging period of your life.   

Give Yourself Some Slack

If you are like most fathers, your “to-do” list never ends. You probably juggle homework, sports or extracurricular events, vehicle maintenance, household chores, and much more on a daily basis. During a stressful divorce, it is important to give yourself some slack. Perhaps you want to renovate the bathroom or fix a noisy garage door but you simply cannot find the time. A high-conflict divorce takes a ton of time and emotional energy. You may need to put off some projects until after the split – and that is perfectly okay.  

Do Not Be Afraid to Ask for Help

The American Psychological Association reports that men are much less likely to seek professional mental health treatment than women. As a dad, prioritizing your mental wellbeing benefits both you and your children. Consider reaching out to a therapist or divorce coach to get the support you need. One major benefit of therapy is that your discussions are confidential. That means that you can vent your frustrations without worrying about how it will affect your divorce case.

Multiple studies have confirmed the profound benefits associated with fathers being involved in their children’s lives. Children who spend time with their fathers are more likely to perform well in school, attend college, and find stable employment. They are less likely to experience teen pregnancy or incarceration. There are also countless benefits gained by fathers who enjoy a close relationship with their children. If you are a father and your child’s other parent is not letting you see your kids, it is important to understand your rights and legal options. You may need to take steps to establish or enforce a child custody order to assert your rights.

Child Custody Orders Through the Court

When an unmarried couple has children or parents get divorced, many fathers assume that they can skip establishing a formal child custody agreement. They assume that the child’s mother will abide by whatever custody agreement the parents determine at the time of the breakup. Unfortunately, relying on casual child custody or visitation arrangements can backfire dramatically. Courts cannot enforce a child custody agreement unless it was established through the court. Consequently, fathers should always make sure that they have a court-ordered child custody or parenting time agreement in place.

Establishing Paternity of Your Child

Before you can get a child custody order, you must first establish legal parentage or paternity of your child. When a baby is born to married parents or parents who were married at the time of the child’s conception, paternity is typically assumed by law. However, an unmarried father may need to take additional action to establish himself as the child’s legal parent. The steps needed to establish paternity vary from state to state, but generally, establishing paternity is much easier if the parents agree on the father’s biological relationship with the child. If your child’s mother denies that you are the child’s father, you may need to undergo DNA paternity testing to prove your parentage.